Looking to Buy some Records on eBay?

Then talk to this guy.

Bill Simmons' NBA Draft Diary

"7:54 – New Orleans happily grabs Chris Paul with the fourth pick, partly because he's the best player in the draft, partly because he's one of four people in this draft who could handle playing in New Orleans. 'He will be the mayor of New Orleans!' Vitale screams. 'Trust me! He will be the king of New Orleans!' Translation: He's going to hand out more beads than assists.

Meanwhile, Paul's brother CJ fondly remembers all the fights they had when they were kids – including the time Chris pulled a knife on him – adding, 'it was all out of love, it was all out of love.' Gotcha. CJ also reveals that he's going to live with Chris and serve as his manager and personal assistant. I can't believe he was available. "

E-mails from Fox News Viewers

Date: Jun 16, 2005
Subject: today program
I was always taugh that you don't have to advertise it. Must not be to good. There for teenager becarful what you wear. * from PHX

Bill Simmons' Top 60 NBA Draft Moments

"No. 33, 2002: With Kenny and Chuck making fun of the influx of foreign players, Stern (standing at the podium) gives them an exaggerated, 'I can't believe you guys' stare, then finally lays the smack down: 'You know, when Kenny and Charles first came into the league, they didn't speak English, either.' And that's why he's the most powerful man in the country."

All Your Base Rapsody

(flash)

All your, all your base, belong to us.

Zombie Dogs

I'm not sure if George A. Romero's Night of the Living Dead would of been quite so good if the shopping mall was under seige from a pack of zombie poodles.

Then again....

King Kong Trailer

(embedded video)

Now that's a big fucking monkey.

New Strongbad E-mail

I couldn't find any Easter eggs in this one. Am I missing them or are there none? If you find one, reply on the comments.

What Really Happened?

A one-stop shop for all you tin foil hat wearers. Some interesting stuff in here mixed in with the usual "Elvis was the second shooter on the grassy noll and set up 9/11 from his underground bunker in Costa Rica to distracte the public from finding out the shocking truth that aliens live among us" type stuff.

Roger Moore's Fantabulous Eyebrows

Do do do do do, dee do do, dee do do do do, do do do do do, do do do, do do dee do do. Do do do doo, do do do, dee do do, dee do do, dee dee dee do dee do, do do do do dee do do do.............

The Killers vs Europe

(mp3 audio file, 9.7mb download)

The thing I love about these kind of mixes is that the more bizzare the pairing of the two artists is then the better it seems to work and this is a top track.

A Tale of Two Monkeys

(embedded video, NSFW)

This will probably be the only shadowplay sex scene you'll ever see in your life so make the most of it.

A warning to firefox users. I could only get the audio when I opened the link, so I had to use MSIE to see and hear it.

Why Did You Kill Me Mommy?

(mp3 audio file, 1.2mb download)

This might well be the funniest thing I've heard in my life.

The Unicorn Orgy

I guess this explains the horns.

Flying Spaghetti Monster

I don't know about you, but I'm convinced. The pirate/global warming graph was the clincher. I'd like to see that Darwin guy come up with better facts than that.

Tom Cruise is NOT Gay

And this series of lawyer letters proves it. I'm not sure about the Godzilla connection though.

.... Still, if I was Dawson I would keep in touch with Joey through e-mail from now on. You know, just in case. Not that I'm saying that Tommy is gay or anything. Nothing could be further from the truth. Although, I'm sure he doesn't think that there's anything wrong with that. I'd imagine he has lots of gay friends. Not that I'm saying all his friends are gay. I think I better stop now before the law firm of Elle, Ron and Hubburd get in touch.

Please don't sue me Mr Scientologist Man =(

Best NBA Fights

(embedded video)

Yes Kurt Rambis trying to throw a punch and falling into the crowd is in there. Yes Marcus Camby caving in the side of Jeff Van Gundy's head is in there, but I didn't see Van Gundy holding onto Zo's leg as his comb-over did the funky chicken in there. Yes Larry Bird making Kareem his personal bitch is in there. And yes, Ron Artest may feature once or twice.

But most of these fights are painful to watch, and not for the reason you're thinking of. Some advice to any pro ballers reading. When you're seven foot tall with a wingspan of a Boeing jet, try not to fight nose-to-nose with your arms flying around like some out of control windmill. Get some distance dude.

How Many Times can you Fold a Piece of Paper?

Before you say eight I suggest you click the link and check out the equation Britney worked out. If you're still not convinced then you might want to purchase her booklet, at only $6.00 including shipping.

Bill Simmons Dissects Game 6

"Did we ever settle whether it's 'Big Shot Rob' or 'Big Shot Bob'? I always thought it was Big Shot Rob, but my editors kept changing it to Big Shot Bob. Then Horry himself demanded to be called Big Shot Rob, which made me want to call him Big Shot Bob because nobody should be able to decide their own nickname. So I'm offering a compromise – from now on, we should refer to him only as 'Big Shot Brob.'"

Gem Sweater

(embbeded video)

Gold polyester jumpsuits have never looked so ... erm ... interesting.

Learn to Play Guitar like a Superdork

Spandex not provided.

A Brief History of the Apocalypse

Oct 10, 1998

Monte Kim Miller, leader of the Denver charismatic cult Concerned Christians, was convinced that the Apocalypse would occur on this date, with Denver the first city to be destroyed. The cult members mysteriously disappeared afterwards; but later resurfaced in Israel, where they were deported on suspicion of planning a terrorist attack at the end of 1999. Miller had also claimed he will die in the streets of Jerusalem in December 1999, to be resurrected three days later."

I guess things did get a little desperate until Elway finally got the Super Bowl MVP. This is a great site that documents some of the more interesting claims of impending doom to the planet that have been made over the last 400 years or so.

Jesus Sandals

" After the Columbine school tragedy, legislation was proposed to post the Ten Commandments in public places because Biblical reminders can make the difference between life and death.

Today we wear our clothing as personal billboards to express how we feel, who we are, and what we believe. Wearing a Christian message reinforces goodness and has the potential to save lives and save souls.

Shoes of The Fisherman ® sandals act like oversized rubber stamps, leaving the message JESUS LOVES YOU"

I'm more into Greek Gods, which is when I walk on the beach I leave the message NIKE.

The "Bring Back To Life" Assist

How Scientologists bring the dead back to life. They shout at them until they wake up. Simple.

Just another reason why Tom Cruise is in no way nuts. He is also in no way gay. I can't stress these two things enough.

Surprising Expiration Dates

The interesting one for me on their list is vinegar as I'm pretty sure the bottle I've had in my kitchen cupboard has been there longer than the 42 months they specify.

In between moving homes I had a lot of stuff in storage for about 18 months and that bottle on vinegar was in there. It still tastes OK on my chips though, so hey.

How to Perform Strong Man Stunts

"One of the truest statements ever made is, 'All the World Loves a Strong Man.' Every man, woman and child admires strength, and there is not a man who does not crave it. To be stronger than your friends is to be looked upon as a natural leader, and an invinicible defender. Strength is the biggest hallmark of manhood. It demonstrates true he-man maculinity. Because this is true, it rouses a great desire in every manly heart to be able to do the great feats of strength which hold people breathless when they are demonstrated to them."

Your Lightsaber and You

(embedded video)

"My name is Jedi Master Flash."

Celebrities Eating Dot Com

I wasn't surprised to see a photo of Lindsay Lohan eating, but I was surprised not to see a photo of her throwing up afterwards.

Tom Cruise Takes it in the Face

The Katie Holmes Liberation front make their first move. Watching Tom Cruise take a face-full of liquid from a phallic-looking object in no way looks gay, because as everyone knows Tom Cruise is straighter than a laser and would sue anyone who said his Eiffel Tower engagement was a publicity stunt.

Doctor Doomizzle Fo Shizzle

I don't know what you heard about me,
But a bitch can't get a dollar out of me,
No Cadillac, no perms, you can't see,
That I'm a motherfucking P-I-M-P.

Jimmy Kimmel Live's Unnecessary Censorship

(embedded video)

He may not know much about New Order, but he knows where to place a beep for comedy effect.

Is It Normal?

"I have very vivid dreams that are so detailed and exciting that sometimes when I actually wake up I don't want the dream to stop. So I just lay in bed with my eyes closed and try to finish out the dream by fantasizing about it. The dreams are not necessarily about sex, but many times about nothing much. Like last night I dreamed that I was at a soccer game watching my son play (I don't have kids) and Sean Puffy Combs suddenly appeared incognito to watch "our" son play and handed me an envelope with a stack of money in it. I didn't want him involved in my son's life because of his affair with Jennifer Lopez. I woke up but had to finish the dream by kicking him to the curb and telling him I didn't want his money and that he was a bad role model for our son! Is this normal??"

JCB Ballet

(embedded video)

Man meets JCB digger, man falls in love with JCB digger, man dances a ballet with JCB digger. It can only end in tragedy.

A Song About Google

By giant_squid and manwithunderpantsonhead from b3ta.

DownSyndromeDolls.com

"With approximately 5,000 children born with Down Syndrome in the United States each year, the Down Syndrome Dolls will be an important resource for families who have a child with the condition, or for organizations and medical providers that serve these special youngsters... parents, teachers, and physicians throughout Europe have found the dolls are shared with siblings and friends, they can help foster a better understanding of the human body for children and people with special needs"

Um ... yes. My favourite is Silke, she's from the East and loves to play with her puppy.

Cat Fancy Dress

1. Dress her up. Cheer or yell, do whatever you like to enjoy the moment with your family.
2. After you are enough with your joy, take a photo! Take some poses and leave her some cute photos!
3. Remove her clothes and give her a hub, say "Thank you!"

Even before you click on this you just know it's Japanese. If they're not shitting on each other then they're dressing up in costumes. I looked for an Elvis Vegas jumpsuit, but no luck. So I've settled for the Stylish Dalmatian Tippet. Keep cat warm even in severe Winter.

Beans on Toast

Some nice beanshots here.

Bill Simmons' Game 3 Diary

"Longtime NBA fan Stevie Wonder plays the national anthem with his harmonica. Very cool. He'll also be reffing tonight's game with Dick Bavetta and Bennett Salvatore."

Triumph vs The Jacko Fans

(right click and 'save target as', 24mb download)

"On a scale of 1 to 10 how young do you think his boyfriend is?"

WheelSurf

I think I'll stick to walking.

Are you a Badger?

I'm not a badger =(

The Complete NOOOOOO!!!

I already have the classic NOOOOOOOOO!!! (shakes fist) linked on here, but here's the complete list. It's the new KHAAAAAANNNNN!!!

Have I Got News For You Outtakes

Just saw this linked on the b3ta forum. Shame it's only a transcript, I'd love to see the video of this.

India's Toilet Museum

Feel the flush.

New Strong Bad E-mail

(flash)

Actually it's not new at all, but it is for me since I've been away for 10 days. It's also very very very boring.

Free Katie

Is Katie Holmes being held against her will by a deranged Tom Cruise? I don't know, but one thing I do know is that in no way is Tom now, or has been in the past, gay. In fact if you look up straight in the dictionary there's a picture of Tom Cruise. Although I heard he actually sued to get that.

Google Will Eat Itself

1. Click Google ads
2. ???
3. Profit!

Barforama

I'm back from my hols (expect a few posts on the main blog this week about them) and I'm ready to start updating this site regulary.

First of all I've spewed up all the old linkroma links I had bookmarked but yet to post below. You've probably seen all of them already, but hey.

Leeroy Jenkins, Videogame Legend

(embedded video)

I'm 32.3333333% sure that this is the best WoW video clip ever.

Simone Prick, model

She may look gorgeous, but her career is going nowhere until she changes her name.

NOOOOOOOOO!!! (shakes fist)

Revenge of the Sith with all the crappy parts taken out.

Netdisaster

Is there a website out there that you really hate? Then put the url into this site and take a big steaming dump all over it. Not this one though. We're great.

Uncyclopedia

Like Wikipedia only better.

Leftover Lunch

Which one of you fuckers has been taking photos of my fridge and posting them on the net?

Some eBay crap

Look out for my first CD 'Vorbis Unplugged' this Summer in all good music shop bargain bins.

Corpse Gallery

Um, yes. I think I'll pick one of these photos for the next SSW caption contest.

The CSS Lego house

A picture of a house made from lego bricks done only using style sheets. Very cool, but personally I prefer my tables-from-hell templates.

Google Map Easter Eggs

Or are they?

Archiveorama

I've just added all the links from the original Linkorama posts from SSW to here in a forty minute copy & paste frenzy. I didn't check the links so I can't say how many still work.

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Sick Sad World

Well what other link desverves to go here first?

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Hello and Goodbye

This is a sister blog to Sick Sad World and will take over the linkorama posts I used to add to the blog every weekend.

From now on I will add the links on here as I find them. Except I won't be for the next ten days as I'm off on holiday until then. Byeeeee.