Dear Rob

I've already posted a link to the Tom Cruise blog here on linkorama, but I just read the latest post and it was so funny I had to link to it.

"Even after the rough spots in our relationship, I took you back, Rob. Because that's what Love is all about. I don't know. Call me. I know you didn't mean the mean things you said. I left you a message on your machine. It's my cell, so you can do reach me anytime, anywhere -- just like the old days. You said we were BBF's. You know...butt buddies forever! Don't pull out now, Rob. Please don't pull out now."

LCD Keyboard

Me like this. Me want one.

The World Championship of Illegal Pencil Fighting

(embedded video)

Super Davo was robbed. Do you hear me? ROBBED. I can't begin to tell you how much money I lost on this.

The World's Ugliest Dog

Damn, that is an ugly dog.

New Strong Bad E-mail

(flash)

Strong Bad's bottom 10.

Open Source Beer

This is exactly the kind of thing Al Gore intended when he invented the interweb.

Planarity Flash Game

(flash)

You know those flash games that you come across then play for ten hours straight to get through all the levels?

Don't say I didn't warn you

Chinese Food Prank

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Phone a Chinese takeaway and make an order, then put them on hold. Phone a second Chinese takeaway and have the first one repeat your order to them. Sounds confusing, but very funny.

Giant Microbes

Don't know what to get for your family this Christmas? Why not get them the ebola virus. Or maybe gonorrhea.

On The Moon Ep. 1

The latest weebl toon. Featuring toast, prawns and Nazis. On the moon.

Downhill Couch Racing

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Who knew sitting on a sofa could be so dangerous? I specially love the slow motion 'oooooh myyyyy goddddd'.

I'm going to do everything in my power to get couch racing included in the 2012 London Olympics.

The Computers That Said No To Drugs

I don't know about you, but after reading that I seriously need to cut out a line.

Tom Cruise's Blog

"Oh, have I mentioned that I have a movie coming out? It stars me! And it's going to be sooooo good -- Katie watched it last night, and she told me it was the best thing she'd seen all day; next to me, of course. And you know what? She has a new movie coming out as well, though I can't remember what it's called. Batman's Buns, or something like that. We're going to watch it together next week, because I think that's when it's coming out. If it's anything like Katie, I'm going to fall in love with it in no time flat, because that's how I feel about Katie -- she's awesome! I can't believe she's so awesome -- I've never felt this way before, I swear! Penelope was...well, let's not go there. Personally, all I'll say is that I wasn't the reason so many people hated Vanilla Sky. People love my smile! You remember Jerry Maguire, don't you? Haha, I knew you would. I've got to go for now though; those Thetans won't disappear by themselves!

Sincerely,
TheEverlastingSamurai"

Brit Hume; Asshole

(.wmv file, 687kb download)

Fox News' Brit Hume gets down to the important facts of the London Bombings. Making money off it.

Also, check out this webpage for more Fox News quotes from the 7th July.

Don't Work for a Drive-Thru in Dayton, Ohio

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Because the cops there are morons.

New Maddox Rant

"In observation of all these shitty phrases and acronyms, I've decided to coin another phrase that can be used for "blog" called: comment-log or CLOG for short. What users do is labor over documenting their inconsequential lives, trivializing man's greatest invention, the microprocessor, until the Internet is so CLOGGED that commerce comes to a screeching halt. Anyone contributing to the congestion would be known as a CLOGGER. I hate blogs."

Live8 Video Downloads

This site has links to all the AOL video clips of (nearly) all the artists from all the different Live8 concerts.

Explosion!

ABC news score a 10 on the bad-taste-graphics-ometer.

*edit*

Someone finally realised what they put up and changed the picture. Here's what was originally on the webpage:

Obituaries of the Future

"Hilton - Paris (25) was killed last night in an unfortunate kitchen accident, when she curiously attempted to cook her own food after several attempts to find one of the black people that normally does it for her."

The iPod Flea

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The sad thing is is that if Apple actually released this there would be geek queues for miles outside their shops.

Pink Floyd Play 'Wish you were Here' at Live8

(.mov file, 7.1mb download)

"It's actually kind of emotional standing up here with these three guys after all these years. Standing to be counted with the rest of you. Anyway, we're doing this for everyone who's not here, but particularly of course for Syd."

Dave Chappelle: WoW n00b

I also heard that he plays AML for CHAOS*ZONE.

The History of the Virbrator

(some NSFW images)

"Paradoxically, while female patients were being massaged to paroxysm week after week, men prone to excessive onanism and unwholesome nocturnal secretions were diagnosed with 'spermatorrhea.' Torturelike contraptions were contrived to strap and zap them back to normal."

If Wishes Were Horses

(some NSFW images)

A couple of days ago I posted a link to the I Hate Horses blog. To redress the balance here's a link to a site for people who want to become horses.

Um, yes.

Steven Gerrard, Everton Legend

While the Gerrad saga continues and it now looks certain he is leaving to join either Chelsea or Real Madrid after turning down a four year contract that would pay him £5.2m a year, here's a pic showing how deep his Liverpool roots go.

Lego Star Destroyer

Some people just have too much time on their hands.

TomCruiseIsNuts.com

I think the title says it all.

Happy Fireworks!

No Strongbad e-mail in this week's Homestar Runner update, but they have put this up. Happy Fireworks to all our US readers.

Woman in Bikini Bouncing off Blue Balls

(flash)

Very weird and strangely relaxing to watch. If she gets stuck just hit refresh.

World Jump Day

With President Bush dead set against any kind of change the US's environmental policy that would either a. Stop Governor Schwarzenegger using his fleet of Humvees or b. stop all those oil companies giving him huge wedges of money, then I guess we need to start to think outside the box.

So how about organising millions of people to jump at the same time, causing the Earth to change orbit? It's crazy, but it just might work.

Girl knocks out dude

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I would say that it must be her time of the month, but I'm not going to as she will probably hunt me down and knock my front teeth through my cheek if I do.

Rat Laundry

" Rats can be washed in the home washer and drier. Rats are actually born with laundry care tags, but most chew their tags off when they're only a few weeks old. I have therefore compiled this set of directions to help you launder your rats. Rats are delicate and easily damaged by common laundry techniques, so take the following precautions when cleaning your rodents."

I Hate Horses

"Hi I am a horse. I am a fucking retard. I poop whenever I want and then I step in it. I even have poop on my tail because I have never heard of toilet paper. SOMEBODY PLEASE TURN ME INTO GLUE IMMEDIATELY!!"

Children's Near Death Experience Drawings

OK, so this is ever so slightly disturbing.

BJU Student Expectations

"Loyalty to Christ results in separated living. Dishonesty, lewdness, sensual behavior, adultery, homosexuality, sexual perversion of any kind, pornography, illegal use of drugs, and drunkenness all are clearly condemned by God's Word and prohibited here. Further, we believe that biblical principles preclude gambling, dancing, and the beverage use of alcohol."

Gangsta Gadgets

I've already got an R. Kelly Golden Showerhead, but I can't tell you how long I've been waiting to get my hands on a Scarface Special Edition Router.